Mindless

Yea, i'm just simply writting down stuff that usually comes to my head. But right now, nothing really is relevant to talk about so fuck it right? From my opinion, i'd rather jot down stuff (messy or un-organized it may be) and see what comes out of it.. I'm currently working on a project with a partner of mine and trying to get things off the ground so to speak. Right now im currently working on my largest asset to date and trying to keep it from being a liability that would end up biting me in the backside.
we working on the paint job of the interiors.. I would post up pictures but im using a phone to type this in so yea ya'll can do the math.. I'm not really a wiz-kid when it comes to technology but you'll never know unless you try right? So yea it's better to keep going rather than keeping still if your planning staged started a few years ago... By that rate, nothing would be done! I mean, literally speaking, even horse shit would have dried up ten times over... Pardon my french, but it's a bad habbit of mine to curse.. Bad habbits die hard they say and i agree with who ever came up with that phrase.
Well anyways.. here's the thing, i think so much but i can't really speak it. It's not like i st-sta-stu-stutter but i'm working on my english at the moment. See i'm bruneian, a malay, mother-tongue sounds nowhere near any english, and another habbit of my native people is modifying stuff.. Improvising if you will. For example, a motor car would be pronounced "Mo-to-ka". And "Air" which means the gas that we breathe in english would mean "water" in Bahasa Melayu or malay (Best known as "Bahasa Malaysia" in the western world) and is pronounced "Ayer" like the Flo-rida song. But in Brunei it's pronounced "A-ying" with a british-tomato "A". Why you might ask?? I haven't the slightest clue.. It's just the way it is i guess.
Well i guess that's enough of my mindless, point-less blabber which if i were to use my voice would have dried up my saliva an hour ago.

Peace yo and thanks for following me in this point-less goose chase..
Wheshesheshe

Night-time view

The first night i followed her every move was the night i can never forget. She was leaving the office building in a rush. She made haste through the steady stream of people on the sidewalks and down to the subway. I caught up with her in one of the train standing only a few steps away. It was then her scent captivated me. The sweet pungent aroma was seeping through her blouse. I could hear her pulse beating franticly as if i was listening to the drums marched on the battlefield across the english fields years ago. The beats got slower and calmer as she steadied her breathing though still heavy. That sweet smell still oozing through her blouse was ever present. That smell of fear was unmistakeable. Intoxicating as it may be, in a flash, she again bolted out of the train as soon as the doors opened. I watched in awe as i followed her out. Her hips were swaying as if in slow-motion as she weaved through the crowd. Smoothly moving through the rest of humans i leapt to the balcony opposite of her apartment, looking directly over her bedroom window.

what i saw then i could not forget.....

From the top of my head

From the top of my head,
i plainly write,
while lying on my bed,
try to say good night,
when i close my eyes,
my mind takes flight,
where i'm going,
i do not know,
the images i see,
slowly starts to grow,
from a dot in the distance,
to a glistening glow,
the image of a woman,
with her head in her hands,
the image on her face,
was filled with sorrow,
cos for her,
there's no tomorrow,
but old folks say,
reverse the meaning,
during the day..

From the top of my head,
guess i should go to bed...

After Dark

As i crept up to the bed i saw slight movement. Shadows are the only opaque colors seen on the walls and floor. moonlight was the only light seen all through the dimly lit room. For a moment, I thought that she realized that something was a miss. In her sleep, the thought kept coming in her head. Someone is here. Someone or something is in the room with me.

Being that she lives alone in her one bedroom apartment, alone and away from familiar faces and friends, occasionally she feels that she may not be alone at nights. Brought up superstitiously, she took all appropriate measures to be safe from unseen things and those that go bump in the dark. I noticed the chair being flipped, facing down and all four feet were facing the doorway. Then I also noticed the sliced limes on the window frames and coarse salt hanging in plastic bags in the corner of the living room. At first thought, this chick is too much of a challenge and to much of a hassle. I could pick off easy targets on the streets at night. Drunk kids, stressed-out teens and prowling drag-queens. But there was something about her that had a reverse effect on me. Usually I'm the one who hypnotizes and seduces my "vics" but this time, it could be her innocence that captivated me. Her big round eyes, covered half-way by the lazy eyelids. sexy as they may be, the sadness that haunts her gives her the slightly broken smile. Stressed from work, she sticks to her routine every night. She comes down from the office and heads straight to the subway. On the way up close to her apartment she stops by the corner store to buy a few drinks and one magazine. Each night one magazine. Then she just heads up to her apartment.

The first night i followed her home, is a whole different story............

Another post

For a moment,
I'd rather be honest,
what people say,
I could care-less,
cause what i see,
not all can see,
I want to be free,
but it comes at a cost,

to emancipate,
means dealing with loss,
leaving the comfort zone,
and the safety of my home,

they say I'm selfish,
but what do they know,
everyone defines self-less,
when each of them is selfish,
caring for their own,
survival of the fittest,
to scratch and to claw,
just to be the greatest.

To figure out

Does it really work,
when you forgive and forget,
or do memories linger,
to the night on your death bed?

What is fear,
and why should we be scared,
the choices we made,
and the choices we had,
they all have passed,
should we wallow in fear,
or should we move on from here?

For the way i think,
i now can blink,
because the thoughts i have,
are now in ink,

I'd like to move on now,
to explore even farther,
for i can't judge my life now,
because i still am a toddler,

But should we rush,
to be mature,
to plan our life,
and also our future,
or should we just laugh,
leave out the sorrow,
live for today,
as though there's no tomorrow?

Experience

For what's it worth,
I feel as though,
what we've been trough,
has pushed me forward,
and to realize that,
what held me back,
had always been,
all in my head.

To ride it out,
and straighten things out,
had always been the dillema,
to endure,
or just to ignore,
has always been,
the problem's core.


Was everything planned out,
or was it coincidence,
were it them that bound,
the hands of fate,
should we subdue,
or should we control,
the flames of hate,
within us all.